Narcissism II

Cliques and Groups

As humans, most of us need socialization and many more need to feel like they belong to something worthwhile.

Not to downplay the importance of anyone’s faith or doctrine, but a sense of belonging is at the core of most religions in my opinion.

People generally need to feel they are among others who are like-minded to reinforce not only their beliefs, but for many, their very existence.

Uniforms, symbols, doctrines, charters, rules, and yes, even our American Constitution are examples of what gives us a sense of belonging to differing degrees.

I consider myself almost what most would call a loner, even though I am generally outgoing and social, and nothing is more important to me than my family.

But for the most part if you know me, typically you’ll see me involved in something by myself, not out of selfishness, but more out of the desire to be more or less outside of the main but still part of the fabric.

I guess this is a good example of where the term “fringe” could be applicable.

For example, I love to hear the noise in my house when it’s full with my family carrying on loudly about whatever they’re going on about.

But usually, I’m in another room reading or watching something that isn’t related. But I’m listening.

To me it’s joyful noise. Well, for the most part.

At work gatherings, I’ll be in with the crowd but a lot of the time, if I can be, I’ll be on the sidelines where I can be observing instead of participating.

Which brings me to the topic of cliques and groups.

Affiliations, friends, and acquaintances are all important in our lives. But some define themselves by who they associate with, and can even have their entire existence be formulated by what group or groups they belong to.

I’ve never been a crowd type as to me, crowds can become mobs which can be very dangerous. Of course, this is the exception and not the rule, but nonetheless, the possibility absolutely exists.

I prefer not to be swayed by a herd mentality.

Cliques are usually controlled groups that are tightly managed by a small cadre who are rigid in who they allow in their circle.

And usually central to this is either one or a select few narcissists hell bent of getting everyone to worship them.

This to me is very dangerous, as these types are the ones that I believe easily be led to become mobs. And this doesn’t mean they have to be violent.

Damage can be done in many ways without physical harm.

Groups can be the healthiest way for humans to interact as long as they are structured to not insist that everyone walks in total lockstep with a predetermined set of acceptable behaviors.

And most important, not be led by a controlling narcissistic person or persons.

Unfortunately, over time, sometimes power becomes the central goal for a few and that’s where the danger enters for groups to become cliques.

It’s the difference between individuality and a hive mind mentality. One accepts and encourages people to be comfortable and be themselves (within reason of course) and the other insists on following a template.

This is why I tend not to be affiliated with too many groups and you’ll never see me in a clique.

Ever.

Once any organization gets to the point where it’s being heavily influenced by a narcissist, it’s time to move on.

And for me, once that door closes, it stays closed.